Sticks and Stones

    We used to play with sticks as kids.  They could be guns to fight in imaginary wars or magic wands to fend off dragons and ogres.  Mostly they were swords.  I can remember swinging my stick "sword" with reckless abandon.  The cracking sound of wood on wood stills echoes in my memories, but so do the accidental whacks on the fingers.

    If you played the same way as I did, it was inevitable that wooden weapons would meet soft, human flesh.  After the tears, garnished with insults and promises to "never do it again," would come the apologies.  Those apologies were often prompted after the wounded soul threatened to tell Mom.

    There were times, as children, that verbal assaults were unleashed in lieu of stick fights.  Each argument would be ended with the old rhyme:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!"  

     According to Wikipedia, the phrase "Sticks and stones" first was used in a children's nursery rhyme in the March edition of The Christian Recorder in 1862.  It was a little different from the way I remember hearing it as a child in the 1980's.  Originally it was recorded as:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me."

    The phrase would later appear as advice 1872 in Tappy's Chicks: and Other Links Between Nature and Human Nature, by Mrs. George Couples.  This edition was closer to how I learned it.  It went:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me."

    I've been whacked by sticks in the past.  Trust me, it hurts!  It's not fun, but I have found that words hurt even more.  I have heard many hurtful words throughout my life and, I can tell you, I can still remember that pain long after the pain of a stick on flesh has disappeared.  Just like my stick sword fights, I have let loose with my words, as well.  I have caused more pain with careless words than I ever have with a make shift sword.

    “Strange how mean words can return to ones thoughts, years after they’ve been callously thrown at you. They replay in your mind, spiking a sense of remembered pain. Nasty name calling can be an ugly memory that stabs unexpectedly—not unlike a nightmare where you wake up crying.

Sticks and stones, may break your bones—yet, cruel names can hurt you.”

― Nikki Sex, Abuse - Goodreads.com

    Like a wooden sword, it might be better to be more careful with what we say to others.  This isn't about being "woke," or dealing with "snowflakes" that take things too personally.  This is all about being better humans to other humans.  It's about seeing value in other more than insulting and tearing them down.

    It hurts seeing people insulting each other over preferences, politics and partisanship.  If we spent more time listening to each other instead of being "right" all the time, perhaps the world wouldn't be as divided as it feels?  Let's be a part of the change....or I'm going to tell Mom!