Hey....JUNE! I mean Grampy!

 

It has been a busy week for the Whittier clan!  I'll spare you all the details (for now) but, as a whacky week, I've had time to reflect on loved ones passed on.  It just so happened this photo was in my Facebook memories.  Yes!  That kid in the baby blue slacks and tight dress shirt is me.  Yes!  I did need a haircut.  No!  I was no sniffing my fingers or picking my nose...  This isn't about me!

This is a post about the man standing behind all of these snot-nosed kids!  His name is George Edward DeWitt Jr and he was my grandfather.  To his friends, he was called George.  His brothers and sisters called him June (short for Junior).  The parents of those kids in the picture called him Dad but to us, he was Grampy!

I'm pretty sure this photo was taken on his birthday.  I'm almost sure this was the best, if not only, picture he had taken with the majority of his grandchildren.  Truth be told, I think the only other time we all gathered like this was at his funeral.

I loved my Grampy!  I'm pretty sure I inherited his twisted sense of humor.  Every time I learned a new joke, he was the first person I wanted to tell it to.  Sometimes, he would ask me to write the joke out so he could tell it to someone else.  More often than not, he would get me to tell it to them.  I still remember his laugh after a really good joke!

Besides a great joke, he loved his sports!  He was a die hard Toronto fan.  In the summer, he television was always tuned into the Jays' games.  In the winter, it was the Leafs, with a sprinkling of the Argonauts here and there.  He passed on before the Raptors came into existence, but I'm sure he would have found time for them.

He could talk sports with the best of them.  Caleb reminds me of him in that manner!

Grampy was a person I admired and respected.  His opinion mattered to me. I always wanted to make him proud and, in some weird way, I still do.  I wished he could have asked Melissa the dreaded "And WHAT are your intentions with my grandson?" question.  I know he would have asked to name Meagan "Penelope Candice" for the simple fact he wanted to call her "Penny Candy!"

I loved spending time with him!  Every chance I had to stay at his place, I did!  Maybe Mom and Dad were trying to get rid of me, but I didn't care.  I think I spent most of my spring breaks and long weekends with him.  He was one of my heroes!

I miss you, Grampy!  

Finding My Way

 

Campobello Light House

I love lighthouses!  I'm a country boy by birth, but I grew up less than 30 minutes from the shores of the Bay of Fundy.  We would visit many of the small islands and coves around coastal Charlotte County and each time I would be drawn to the lighthouses.

The purpose of a lighthouse is twofold- it serves as a warning and as welcome.  It can warn mariners of the rocky shoreline close by, and as a welcome beacon guiding ships into port.

Throughout my life, I've relied on many different guides to get me from one point to another.  My family and friends have had a tremendous impact on my life.  My wife of nearly 25 years (next May) has served as my greatest friend, confident, encouraging me when I needed it, and warning me if I strayed too close to a "rocky shore!"

I would be absent minded if I failed to give my reason for my faith as the main source for my guidance.  The picture I shared was taken with this in mind.  Without my faith in Jesus, I believe I would be destined to crash without His guidance and call.

 

I will forever love a good lighthouse.  It reminds me of not only where I've been, but encourages me to keep on going.  

Finding My Roots

      Have you ever watched, or heard of, the PBS show "Finding Your Roots"?  It's a program that explores then lesser known family lines of many popular film and television stars.  The host, Henry Louis Gates, Jr. will take these pop culture icons on a tour through their family history.  Often they will uncover the sordid details of secret romances that leave the stars shocked!

      For example, did you know that Julia Roberts isn't really a Roberts after all?  Neither is her brother, Eric, nor is her niece Emma.  Nope!  They are, in fact, Mitchell's!  The man she thought was his grandfather (the one with the surname Roberts) wasn't really her grandfather!  Her grandmother (or great grandmother) had a relationship with the Mitchell gentleman well after her husband passed!  She simply named her children "Roberts" to keep up appearances, I guess.

     I have a tale similar to Julia Roberts...Mitchell?..No.  Let's stick with Roberts.  Like her. my family tree doesn't quite branch out the way it's currently constructed.  I've know for quite some time now that one of my great grandfathers, biologically speaking, wasn't really my great grandfather. He was respected as such and will be until my last breath.  I would be lying, however, if I never wondered who my real great grandfather was.  There was only one person that had the answer and she took that secret to her grave!  So imagine my surprise when some of the long lost answers began rising to the surface after I had my saliva analyzed by Ancestry.

     After receiving my results, I logged on to the Ancestry.ca website.  There, I found the names of others that had their saliva analyzed that I was related to.  Some were closely related to me( I saw my 1st cousin, Victoria) , while others shared minimal amounts of DNA (I spoke with a 6th cousin in Australia).  There was one person that was closely related to me whose name I did not recognize.  When I say close I mean he and my mother were first cousins but I had no idea WHO this guy was!  What if, I thought, this was the key to my unknown great grandfather?

     That's when I started digging (and it coincided with me finding out Julia Roberts was really Julia Mitchell).  Turns out, I found my long lost great grandfather!  I looked at the tree of the unknown cousin and determined his grandfather had to be the guy.  Then I thought of two things: What if I am wrong? and, How do you ask a stranger for family history?  I really don't think I'm wrong (I'm Ivory Soap sure I'm right), but do I have the right to ask a stranger for information?

     There's a part of me, while writing this post, that wants to ask "If you have any information on (insert surname here) family history, please respond!"  I have looked this secret cousin up on social media, but I have never sent a friend request.  I have thought about writing an alternate family tree and giving it to some of my family members, but what if they don't want that secret out?  Maybe I should just leave it alone?

    I have yet to see any new movies released starring Julia Mitchell.  Maybe the world is not ready for the (insert surname here) side of me to be explored?  Or, maybe, it's time to knock the skeleton's out of my family's closet and put that one incomplete skeleton 

      

     

Sticks and Stones

    We used to play with sticks as kids.  They could be guns to fight in imaginary wars or magic wands to fend off dragons and ogres.  Mostly they were swords.  I can remember swinging my stick "sword" with reckless abandon.  The cracking sound of wood on wood stills echoes in my memories, but so do the accidental whacks on the fingers.

    If you played the same way as I did, it was inevitable that wooden weapons would meet soft, human flesh.  After the tears, garnished with insults and promises to "never do it again," would come the apologies.  Those apologies were often prompted after the wounded soul threatened to tell Mom.

    There were times, as children, that verbal assaults were unleashed in lieu of stick fights.  Each argument would be ended with the old rhyme:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!"  

     According to Wikipedia, the phrase "Sticks and stones" first was used in a children's nursery rhyme in the March edition of The Christian Recorder in 1862.  It was a little different from the way I remember hearing it as a child in the 1980's.  Originally it was recorded as:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me."

    The phrase would later appear as advice 1872 in Tappy's Chicks: and Other Links Between Nature and Human Nature, by Mrs. George Couples.  This edition was closer to how I learned it.  It went:

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me."

    I've been whacked by sticks in the past.  Trust me, it hurts!  It's not fun, but I have found that words hurt even more.  I have heard many hurtful words throughout my life and, I can tell you, I can still remember that pain long after the pain of a stick on flesh has disappeared.  Just like my stick sword fights, I have let loose with my words, as well.  I have caused more pain with careless words than I ever have with a make shift sword.

    “Strange how mean words can return to ones thoughts, years after they’ve been callously thrown at you. They replay in your mind, spiking a sense of remembered pain. Nasty name calling can be an ugly memory that stabs unexpectedly—not unlike a nightmare where you wake up crying.

Sticks and stones, may break your bones—yet, cruel names can hurt you.”

― Nikki Sex, Abuse - Goodreads.com

    Like a wooden sword, it might be better to be more careful with what we say to others.  This isn't about being "woke," or dealing with "snowflakes" that take things too personally.  This is all about being better humans to other humans.  It's about seeing value in other more than insulting and tearing them down.

    It hurts seeing people insulting each other over preferences, politics and partisanship.  If we spent more time listening to each other instead of being "right" all the time, perhaps the world wouldn't be as divided as it feels?  Let's be a part of the change....or I'm going to tell Mom!

Peaceful Water

 

"He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside peaceful waters.He renews my soul."  Psalm 23:2-3a, God's Word Translation 

I am a product of Charlotte County, NB.  For me, there is no better smelling sea air than found in the coastal regions of Charlotte County.  It doesn't matter if I'm at the Block House in historic St.Andrew's by the Sea, visiting "The Island" (Grand Manan, for you uncultured swine), or going to the beach my wife went to as a child, the air smells better here...smells different!

I live in Saint John and I'm pretty sure most of you are familiar with that smell, but even the coastal portions of the city smell different.  It's not quite the same.  Like Dorothy  in the 'Wizard of Oz,' there really is no place like home!

The above picture is of coastal Charlotte County.  Notice how the water is calm with barely a ripple on the surface   I took it while walking a mowed pathway recently.  For the duration of my stroll, the familiar refrain of Psalm 23 kept echoing in my heart, as well as my soul.  It was a time of rest, as well as restoration.

As I mentioned before in a previous post, we need to come to a place where we find rest and peace.  It may be the shoreline of the best place in all of Canada, or somewhere completely different (and wrong) for you.

The rest offered in Psalm 23 is a body, soul and mind rest.  It is meant to restore you completely.  It chases away the chaos of life and recharges your batteries to keep fighting.  It is meant to help you, not hinder.

I'm writing this in the middle of a busy work week, yet, I have found some restoration in a simple trail walk.  

We live busy lives.  Maybe it seems like you're stumbling from one disaster into another.  I want to encourage you to find the rest mentioned in Psalm 23, found in the One that inspired Psalm 23.  

It's not exclusive to coastal Charlotte County BUT I highly recommend it!

Refreshed

 "If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest."             Matthew 11:28, CEV

    If you have ever said to yourself, "Self!  We should buy Fred a gift as a way to say "Thank you!" for his awesomeness and blogging skills.  What should we buy?" let me say you can never go wrong with a Starbucks gift card!  In fact, I would ENCOURAGE all four of you (I know who reads these things) to pool your resources and feel free to splurge!  😁

    In all seriousness, I do enjoy Starbucks, whether supplied with free resources, or not.  I've noticed that many coffee establishments, Starbucks included, have added "refreshers" to their summer menus.  What is a refresher?  Most seem to contain a fruit juice base and served cold, with ice. In theory, it's a sweet, cold treat to help energize you during those hot, muggy summer days.  Some will that cold beer is made for the same reason, but I digress.  

    During the dog days of summer, finding an avenue of getting away from the heat is essential.  A day at the beach can be just as refreshing as a $400 fruit-based beverage at a high priced coffee shop.  The same can be said about sitting in an air conditioned room.  When the heat is on, we need a way to avoiding overheating and breaking down.  That's true, not only for summer, but all year long.

    Being refreshed, or finding a time and place to rest is necessary or we run the risk of breaking down.  I need rest.  You need rest!  We all need rest!  

    After I post this blog, I am going to tackle the song "Hymn of Heaven" on my guitar.  The opening line of this song states "How I long to breath the air of heaven..."  That sounds so peaceful to me.  It sounds so refreshing.  It sounds like a great place to find rest.

    It's been a busy last few weeks for my family.  Meagan has graduated from high school.  We hosted a graduation party for her.  Work has been INSANE with vacations and the never ending pandemic related sicknesses.  I am TIRED!  Today I am looking for rest and refreshment, not from a coffee shop, but from the One I believe offers it freely.  

  Rest is there, whether you believe in God or not.  Take the time to get away from busy schedules and hazy summer days.  Invest in rest,  It's and investment in yourself!

    Melissa encouraged me to do something restful.  In fact, she told me to either write a blog OR play my guitar.  I'm choosing to do both.  We both know how easy it is for me to go without proper rest.  I have faced physical, emotional and spiritual burnout a few times over the years.  Resting, and being refreshed, keeps me level headed and emotionally balanced.  

    If you've read this far and STILL want to buy me a Starbucks gift card, make it out to Melissa.  She deserves the credit...and I will still USE the card!

    

Black Sheep Syndrome

 

This is a story about the black sheep.  You know the story, right?  It's a tale of a sheep that gives away it's wool to the master, the same and to a little child (I forget if it's a boy or a girl).  The sheep gives away it's best to comfort and support the people around.

Then again, the black sheep can bethe outcast in the family as well.  Regardless of how hard they try to fit in, they feel like they can never truly be accepted.

In fact, back in the 18th and 19th centuries the wool of a black sheep was undesirable.  Unlike white wool, black is a hard colour to dye. It was often seen as the mark of the Devil.

Take the tale of the black sheep mentioned in my first two paragraphs. There have been times where I have felt like both sheep.  I have given of myself only to feel like anything I had for someone else was as worthless as black wool.  

The thing about the two sheep, however, is how each one dealt with it's circumstances in life.  The giving sheep, even with its worthless wool, still have of itself because that's what he/she was meant to do.  It had a purpose in life.

The reclusive black sheep may continue to feel left out and abandoned.  He/she chooses to look at the others around them, and fail to see they have something to contribute to this life.

Feeling like a black sheep can be both fulfilling and draining at the same time.  It's a great feeling when you are wanted for the skillset you have BUT it hurts to be alone when the only time people want to around you is at shearing time!

This week, if I'm being honest, is a "black sheep week!" I think we all feel that way from time to time.  There are days when we give until it hurts because that's who we are.  Then come the days where we feel more worthless than black wool.

If I can encourage you today somehow, it would be this.  In a world that looks for conformity, embrace the fact that you stand out!  Forge ahead and be different.  If some people find your gifts worthless, then find those who will love you for you!

Don't hide away and feel unwanted.  Seek out ways to give of yourself.  Give to the little one that lives down the lane because, chances are, they're feeling like a black sheep too!