#Let's Talk!

 - Sometimes, the people you don't think want to talk to you are the ones waiting for you to talk to them. - Anonymous

I used to get in trouble for talking in school.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I used to get in trouble for talking loudly in school...and on the school bus.  I can remember getting "pink slips" from our bus driver, Ken Pedder, on a regular basis.  By regular I mean it was frequently enough that I became very well versed in the forging of my mother and father's signatures...but that's a story for another blog.

I've always been a chatter.  My son has inherited that trait from me. I have seen him talk with a complete stranger in a furniture store about the Winnipeg Jets while Melissa and I were looking at sectional sofas.  The sales team did not have the rapport with this person that Caleb had.  Talking (loudly) is what we do best.

While I like talking with others about a great deal of things, I'm not one that likes to SHARE much information during a conversation, by which I mean on a personal level.  I can remember being reprimanded by some members of a church board for sharing too much.  "People don't want to hear about what you're going through, Brother Fred!" they would say.  They meant it, too.  They were also very free about commenting on what was wrong with my preaching, the way I dressed, and how my wife and I lived.  Eventually I left the church and began holding on to a lot of baggage.  I left there an emotional wreck.  If I hated myself before, I loathed myself even more after that experience.

It wasn't until I moved to Nova Scotia that I found a friend that I could confide in; someone other than my wife.  He was more than a friend or a confident.  I looked up to him as a mentor; an older brother that took me under his wing.  He and his wife faced many of the same battles that Melissa and I had.  They cared for us like we were family.  He heard me.

From time to time, old habits would creep in again and I would close myself off once more.  I would retreat within myself because it felt safe but it was more like a dungeon than a sanctuary.  After hitting a breaking point, I began seeking help.  The greatest thing about being in counseling (Yes.  I'm not afraid to say that I'm in counseling) is not only am I being heard but I have been handed the keys to my dungeon.  I'm slowly stepping out and allowing others in.  Not everyone acts like the board members of my first church.  Some actually care and want to hear.

Today is Bell Let's Talk day in Canada.  It's a day focused on getting people to be honest and open about their own mental health struggles and to seek out others that will hear them.  While some may scoff at the media conglomerate behind the day, at least it gives people the chance to start the conversation.

According to Google, a conversation is defined as "a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged."  I know this pandemic has been hard on many.  If you are reading this and feel like you have no one that hears and listen to you, let to assure you that I will.  I know what it's like to feel like you're alone.  Let me be the one that helps you like my dear friend Leon helped me!

- Dedicated to the memory of my friend, and mentor, Leon.  Until we talk again!-